unpredictable * nieprzewidywalne

wersja polska ponizej

 IMG_5162d by mike donahue

…is life with God. Experiential knowledge of God is a must. I can’t go on without encounters. Big ones and the small ones. Big ones, like once every few years. Small ones, like one every few days. The small ones are even more important. I am addicted and if I don’t have enough I leave everything to get to Him. That’s why I have to prioritize and remind myself few times a day what is worth living (and dying) for, what is absolutely essential at the moment, what can wait few hours and what must be forgotten.

So many choices and opportunities. I want the best part.
That’s why I like silence. Inside and out. It helps me to gather my spirit, helps me to get the vision back, helps me to feel alive. Otherwise I am a wreck. Not able to complete nothing without complaining and whining.

I need to touch God.

wersja polska

nieprzewidywalne

 IMG_5162d by mike donahue

…jest zycie z Bogiem. Doswiadczalne poznanie Boga jest koniecznoscia. Nie jestem w stanie przezyc bez spotkan z Nim. Tych duzych i tych malych. Tych znaczacych, takich raz na pare lat. I tych powszednich, takich co pare dni. Te powszednie wydaja sie nawet byc wazniejsze. Jestem od nich uzalezniona i jesli doswiadczam ich braku, zostawiam wszystko i szukam Go. Dlatego musze sobie wyznaczac priorytety i przypominac sobie pare razy dziennie co jest warte zycia (i smierci), co jest absolutnie niezbedne w danym momencie, co moze poczekac pare godzin, a co musi zostac zapomniane.

Wybory i mozliwosci. A ja chce skosztowac tej najlepszej czesci.

Dlatego tez lubie cisze. Wewnetrzna i zewnetrzna. Pomaga mi w pozbieraniu sie, w ponownym przywolaniu wizji, w odczuwaniu zycia. Bez ciszy zamieniam sie w jedze. Nie jestem w stanie niczego skonczyc bez narzekania i marudzenia.

Potrzebuje dotkniecia Boga.

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into great silence. part 4

mp3 generation

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Are we becoming iPod obsessed? Laptop depended? mp3 fanatics? (I’ve seen smth the other day about Londoners being so consumed by text-messaging WHILE walking, that the increase of street accidents are dangerously on the rise). 15 years ago they were bombarding us with the massages about “bad TV habits”. Today it seems like a chant from another universe. Who would watch TV, when you can be INVOLVED via intergalactic gadgets connecting us with…yes…the whole world? Just one click away and the whole new reality of imagination is stirred and lured into the networking,web-surfing, blog reading, game playing etc.We need a teaching: how to survive the newest invasion of technology in everyday christian life? Oh, yes. I remember. We use it for the benefit of the Kingdom…

Czy mamy obsesje na punkcie iPodow? Czy jestesmy uzaleznieni od laptopow? Jestesmy fanatykami mp3? (Niedawno czytalam, ze Londynczycy sa tak zaabsorbowani pisaniem SmS-ow podczas chodzenia po ulicach, ze wypadki, ktore sa powodowane wlasnie przez takich osobnikow rosna w zstraszajaca szybkim tempie. 15 lat temu bombardowano nas wiadomosciami na temat”zlych przyzwyczajen do TV”. Dzisiaj brzmi to jak wiadomosci zza swiatow. Kto by chcial ogladac TV, kiedy mozna byc calkowicie ZAANGAZOWANYM za posrednictwem mnostwa gadgetow laczacych nas z…calym swiatem? W zasiegu jednego klikniecia istnieje nieodkryty jeszcze swiat wyobrazen, ktory wzywa i przyciaga nasza uwage ku networking,web-surfing, blog reading, game playing.

Potrzebujemy nauczania: jak przetrwac najnowsza inwazje technologii w codziennym zyciu chrzescijanskim? Ach, no tak, pamietam i to. Wykorzystujemy to wszystko przeciez dla Krolestwa…

That I might calm the turbulent emotions of my soul which arise from the planning and care of external things. That I might forget the forgettable and remember the eternal. That I might be seduced and wooed by the Absolute One. That I might give myself away to gain Him. That i might turn unreservedly to the Source of my life.

Uspokoje zawirowane uczucia mej duszy wydzierajace sie zza trosk rzeczy swiata zewnetrzengo. Zapomne o rzeczach zpomnianych i bede pamietac o wiecznych. Ulegne i przyciagnie mnie Ten, ktory jest Absolutem. Oddam mu sie w calosci, aby Go pozyskac. Zwroce sie calkowicie ku Zrodlu mego zycia.

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The day in a Carthusian monk: all in solitude, unless specifies otherwise

8.15 pm – go to bed

11.45 pm – individual prayer

12.15 am – Matins & Lauds – 2-3h prayer with other monks in church

6.30 am – Prime – prayer or spiritual reading from Scripture

7.45am – Mass in church with other monks

9.00am – Spiritual reading and study

10.00 – Terce prayer

10.45 am – Manual work or Study

11.45 am – Sext – prayer

12.00pm – Meal and recreation (reading, walking, gardening)

2.00 pm – Recitation of None, reading and study

3.15 pm – manual labor

4.00pm – Vespers

5.00pm – Vespers in church

7.00pm – Compline

8.00pm – bedtime

Once a week 2 h walk with monks, conversations and discussions.

Watch the clip from the movie Into great silence:



into great silence. part 3

wersja polska ponizej

to talk or not to talk. virtue of silence.

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To the praise of the glory of God, Christ, the Father’s Word, has through the Holy Spirit, from the beginning chosen certain men, whom he willed to lead into solitude and unite to himself in intimate love. (Prologue of the statutes of the Carthusian Order.)

Life of a Carthusian monk is marked by solitude and silence. Their way to God leads through contemplation. Contemplating requires continual conversion. Inner silence creates a space necessary to experience God’s presence.Through this way they become aware of a great mystery that is present in every Christian.

They don’t provide a special method or structure for prayer. The only way is Jesus Christ. It is not important what they do, but what God is doing in and for them.

Prayer requires silence inside of a soul. Otherwise no one can be heard and payed attention to. The attempts to “make” my heart silent can be troublesome. How to quite down a restless, ever-wondering mind? Can it be done through pushing out all of the distractions behind the doors of our inner chamber and shutting the door? Covering up noise does not provide a silence within.

The gift of silence is within me. It needs to raise up. Then all the other noises will be quenched, invasions of distractions will vanish. Silence is when the presence of Him, who Is, rests within the core of my essence.

It’s interesting that almost every great teacher of contemplative life points to the fact that there is a stage of growth or development where everyone must come to. It is a place where the words, even those inner whispers, become to small, to obscure, to imperfect, to diminishing to continue in the way of progressing toward His holy mountain. There is a time when I have to put aside all. Not in a struggle, not in a warfare, but willingly offer a sacrifice of communicating with Him on my terms, so He can start to commune with me on His terms.

An undisciplined mind can not get to that place. God’s grace will let the soul beyond imaginations and the senses, toward the holy tranquility. As they say, then He can make a habitation within my heart. Something beautiful. Something glorious. In this place of inner peace and inner silence God can dwell in an unbound manner. He can give His life. He can give me prayer. He can give me joy. He can feed my hunger. It is not a place that I just ask for Him to speak to me. I pass further. He gives Himself to me. I start to understand who He is and whom he made me to become. I come home.

It is not esoteric. It is very human. It is very God in very me.

Prayer is not just the ooohs and aaaahs, visions and gifts, experiences and dry spells. Beyond all of this there is a place of returning to the very being of a human existence, joining my body , soul and spirit with the One who made me.

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Study results: men use about 2,000 – 5,000 words per day, but women use 5,000 – 30,000.
That’s a lot of talking.

Forgive my English composition. It’s not gonna get any better 🙂 any time soon.

Check this Carhusian monastery. They pray like mad also. Just different style.

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wersja polska

mowic czy milczec. cnota milczenia.

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Ku chwale i slawie Boga, Chrystus, Slowo Boze, przez Ducha Swietego, od poczatku wybiera szczegolnych ludzi, ktorych pragnie prowadzic ku ciszy i zjednoczyc ze Soba w bliskiej milosci. (Wstep do statutu Zakonu Kartuzow)

Zycie mnicha Kartuza jest naznaczone cisza i odosobnieniem. Medytacja jest ich droga ku Bogu.. Kontemplacja wymaga nieustannego nawrocenia. Cisza wewnetrzna stwarza miejsce potrzebne do doswiadczenia obecnosci Bozej. Na takiej wlasnie drodze staje sie on swiadomy misterium, ktore jest obecne w kazdym wierzacym.

Regula zakonu nie wytycza zadnych szczegolnych metod lub struktur modlitewnych. Jedyna droga jest Jezus Chrystus. Nie jest waznym, czym mnich sie zajmuje, waznym jest to, co Bog czyni dla niego i w nim.

Modlitwa wymaga ciszy wewnatrz duszy. W przeciwnym razie dusza nie jest sie w stanie nikogo uslyszec. Proby „narzucenia” ciszy wlasnemu sercu zdaja sie byc jednak uciazliwe. Jak mozna wyciszyc niespokojny, wiecznie zabiegany umysl? Czy zamykanie drzwi naszego wnetrza calemu zamieszaniu i rzeczywiscie pomaga? Samo wyciszanie zgielku nie wprowadza ciszy wewnetrznej.

Dar ciszy jest we mnie. Powinien wzrosnac. Wtedy caly zgielk bedzie zduszony, inwazje rozproszen zamilkna. Cisza wkracza wtedy, gdy obecnosc Tego, ktory Jest, spoczywa w centralnym miejscu mojego istnienia.

Interesujacym jest, ze prawie kazdy wybitny nauczyciel zycia kontemplatywnego wskazywal na moment wzrostu czy rozwoju, ktory musi niechybnie nastapic. Jest to miejsce, gdzie slowa, nawet najcichszy szept, staja sie zbyt male, zbyt zwyczajne, zbyt niedoskonale, wrecz pomniejszajace wyrazana rzeczywistosc zmierzajaca ku Jego swietej gorze. Nadchodzi taki czas, kiedy musze odsunac wszystko. Nie w walce, nie w zmaganiach. Musze z wlasnej woli zrezygnowac z mojego sposobu komunikowania sie z Nim, aby On zaczal przebywac ze Mna tak, jak tego pragnie On sam. Stan ten okreslany jest jako laska modlitwy wlanej.

Niezdyscyplinowany umysl nie jest w stanie dotrzec do tego miejsca. Boza laska poprowadzi dusze poza wyobrazenia i zmysly, w kierunku swietego wyciszenia. Znani kontemplatycy mowia, ze wlasnie wtedy moze On zamieszkac w mym sercu. Piekno i chwala. W owym miejscu wewnetrznego pokoju i ciszy Bog moze poruszac sie bez ograniczen. Daje zycie. Uczy mnie modlic sie. Obdarowuje mnie radoscia. Nasyca mnie. Nie jest to tylko miejsce, w ktorym prosze, aby do mnie przemowil. Wchodze glebiej. On daje mi Siebie. Zaczynam pojmowac kim jest On i kim mnie stworzyl. Wracam do domu.

Nie jest to zadna mrzonka ani wymysly ludzi znudzonych monotonia zycia. Jest to jak najbardziej ludzki sposob dochodzenia do Boga. Sam Bog w glebi duszy.

Modlitwa nie opiera sie tylko na poruszeniach, wizjach i darach, doswiadczeniach, pustyniach. Poza tym wszystkim istnieje miejsce powrotu do sedna istnienia, zlaczenia mego ciala, duszy i ducha z Nim, ktory mnie stworzyl.

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into great silence. part 2

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Lam 3.28 (The Message)

Kiedy zycie staje sie uciazliwe i trudne, odejdz. Wkrocz w cisze. Zanurz sie w ciszy. Poklon w modlitwie. Nie pytaj, niech nadzieja sie ukaze. Nie uciekaj od uciskow. Zmierz sie z nimi. “Najgorsze” nie jest najgorszym. Lam 3.28 (wolny przeklad)

Even I heard this song when I was small.. but I did not know they wrote it in the aftermath of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. Here it goes:

Slyszalam te piosenke wielokrotnie w dziecinstwie, ale nie wiedzialam, ze napisana zostala po zamachu na J.F. Kennediego. Oto ona:

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools”, said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls”
And whispered in the sounds of silence

into great silence. part 1

wersja polska ponizej

into_great_silence.jpg

 

that’s the title of a movie I watched some time ago. 2h 40 minutes. pure, absolute presence. throughout seasons we can almost breath the presence of those who have chosen this carthusian way. contemplating not only God, but the existence of the creation, deepening understanding of things. it’s hard to imagine that in our time someone would want to do that anymore. but they do it beautifully, with a peaceful, silent determination. profoundly unspoiled by the technically frustrated world.

Nestled deep in the postcard-perfect French Alps, the Grande Chartreuse is considered one of the world’s most ascetic monasteries. In 1984, German filmmaker Philip Gröning wrote to the Carthusian order for permission to make a documentary about them. They said they would get back to him. Sixteen years later, they were ready. Gröning, sans crew or artificial lighting, lived in the monks’ quarters for six months—filming their daily prayers, tasks, rituals and rare outdoor excursions.


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first scene: a close up of a monk praying. almost static. unmovable. only for 30 seconds or so, but it seems like it was much longer.

made me think. what is the spirit of the times we live in?

in UK there was a survey done in a young generation which concluded that this generation can’t wait. an avarage person would not even line up in a queue if there are already more than 4 people standing there. many said that it makes them nervous and they were trying to find something to preoccupy them while standing in line. for few, the wait was unbearable. for others it was to much to ask to stand for 10 minutes, doing nothing, but waiting.

what can I wait for? how long can I wait? what is worth waiting?

PRECIOUSNESS OF SILENCE
“But Jesus was silent.” Mt 26:63
—————————————————–

The Silence is Meekness.
When you do not defend yourself against offenses;
When you do not claim your rights;
When you let God defend you;
The Silence is Meekness.

The Silence is Mercy.
When you do not reveal the faults of your brothers to others;
When you readily forgive without inquiring into the past;
When you do not judge, but pray in your heart;
The Silence is Mercy.

The Silence is Patience.
When you accept suffering not with grumbling but joyfully;
When you do not look for human consolations;
When you do not become too anxious, but wait in patience for the seed to germinate;
The Silence is Patience.

The Silence is Humility.
When there is no competition;
When you consider the other person to be better than yourself;
When you let your brothers emerge, grow and mature;
When you joyfully abandon all to the Lord;
When your actions may be misinterpreted;
When you leave to others the glory of the enterprise;
The Silence is Humility.

The Silence is Faith.
When you keep quiet because you know that the Lord will act;
When you renounce the voice of the world to remain in the presence of the Lord;
When you do not labor yourself to be understood;
because it is enough for you to know that the Lord understands you;
The Silence is Faith.

The Silence is Adoration.
When you embrace the cross without asking “Why?”;
The Silence is Adoration.
From the Missionaries of Charity prayer book.

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wersja polska

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into grat silence to tytul filmu, ktory ogladalam niedawno. 2h 40 min prawdziwej obecnosci. przemijajace sezony pozwalaja nieomal oddychac obecnoscia tych, ktorzy wybrali droge Kartuzow. kontemplujac nie tylko Boga, ale tez stworzenie, poglebiajac zrozumienie. trudno jest sobie wyobrazic, zeby w naszych czasach ktos jeszcze pragnalby zyc w taki wlasnie sposob. lecz oni robia to w sposob zdumiewajacy, z cicha, spokojna determinacja. wybitnie nieskazeni swiatem sfrustrowanym technika.

Ukryty gleboko w malowniczych Alpach francuskich, Grande Chartreuse uznawany jest za jeden z najascetyczniejszych zakonow na swiecie. w 1984 roku, niemiecki filmowiec PhilipGroning poprosil ich o pozwolenie nakrecenia filmu dokumentalnego o ich zyciu. W odpowiedzi uslyszal, ze zglosza sie do niego. 16 lat pozniej byli gotowi. Groning z zespolem mieszkal w celach mnichow przez 6 miesiecy – dokumentujac ich zodzienne modlitwy, zajecia, tradycje i rzadkie wycieczki na zewnatrz.

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pierwsza scena z filmu: zblizenie mnicha modlacego sie. postac statyczna. bez poruszenia. obraz ten trwal okolo 30 sekund, lecz wydawal sie o wiele dluzszy.

zapytanie: jaki duch panuje w naszych czasach?

w Wlk Brytanii przeprowadzono sonde wsrod mlodziezy. konkluzja: pokolenie to nie czuje sie dobrze, kiedy ma na cos czekac. przecietny mlody Brytyjczyk nie stanalby w kolejce, w ktorej stoja juz 4 osoby. wielu wyznalo, ze oczekiwanie denerwuje ich, ze musza sobie znalezc jakies zajecie nawet na te pare minut stojac w kolejce. dla paru osob, stanie w kolejce jest po prostu niemozliwe. dla wielu stanie przez 10 minut i nie robienie niczego bylo nie do przyjecia.

jak dlugo moge czekac? na co jestem w stanie poczekac? co jest warte mojego oczekiwania?