zdobycz duchowa. spiritual gain. day 11

photo by Lateefa

zdobycz duchowa spiritual gain

łatwa do stracenia jest so easy to loose

pamięć o niej jednak the remembrance of it

drąży w zakamarkach hollows out in the nooks

jestestwa of being

nie pozwala chodzić w zastanej rzeczywistości forbidding to walk in a known reality

kto bowiem raz skosztował because who once tasted

nie zadowoli się ochłapem will not be pleased with the scrap

samej pamięci of a mere remembrance

lecz wyrwie serce swoje but will tore his heart out

zostawi wszystko will leave everything

nie będzie już grzebać umarłych will not bury the dead

lecz popędzi but will rush off

do źródła egzystencji to the source of existence

do sedna sprawy zajrzy will look into the heart of the matter

jak do studni like into the well

i ujrzy oblicze Boga samego to catch a glimpse of God’s countenance

w zwierciadle duszy in the mirror of his soul

stęsknionej za Panem longing for the Lord

tylko ten krzyż plącze się między nogami

only this cross entangled around me

co by tu z nim zrobić

what could I do with it

how can I describe

perplexions of a heart immersed in unpredicted freedom

sight stunned by the infinite possibilities of creation’s wonders

innocent curiosity developing into contemplative art of searching

for the universe of life

so close by

so vast

cherubims are still

My favorite state to pray is that of stillness. It does not mean quietness, although a lot of times it requires a peaceful place to achieve this desirable positioning of heart.

In these moments I just let me be me and let Him be Him. This free flow of spiritual conversing enables me to leave the world behind, unload my burdens, come to a place of safety and surrender. The place of surrender is costly, sometimes nerve racking and quite risky. But there is no other way, there is no going back, there is no quicker solution.

In Ezekiel’s vision even the cherubims (cherubim – to be near) had moments of stillness. These throne-bearers would lower they wings and pause, for the voice of El Shaddai was about to be heard. Cherubims are the ones who were placed to guard the garden after the fatal choice of Adam which brought the curse to all humankind. Cherubims were the ones carved on the ark of the covenant, and that’s where God promised to meet with his people (Ex 25, 22; Num 7:89). They were portrayed in the temple’s curtains, carved on the temple’s walls. The glory of the Lord was rising from above them(Ez 9:3)They were entrusted to overshadow the burning coals (Ez 10,2). They were present in the temple, while the cloud of God’s glory would fill it.

The phrase “enthroned between the cherubim” is repeated several times in the OT, describing the position the Most High takes. The eternal service of those angels is to cry “Holy” day and night without end, to worship unceasingly, to be present everlastingly before the Creator and to live in His presence. What an existence.

In my yet unredeemed imagination, I am thinking about some weird sci-fi looking hybrids (lion, ox, eagle, human), flying, singing constantly, watching, moving swiftly like a lightning, making noise with their wings that sounded like a voice or waterfalls… quite ecstatic scenes and all of that is going on in the throne room. I’m taking to consideration that these were the visions Ezekiel had. Which parts are literal and which are not, I will not know.

The only time mentioned in Ezekiel’s vision where cherubims are becoming still is, when Almighty Himself is ready to speak. They cease, they fold their wings, they pause in humble and holy attention. They quite down their holy songs, they calm down their swirl of worship and become still when the Voice of the Holy One is about to resound. That tells me one thing: the messengers and beholders of God’s glory, created and positioned before El Shaddai, having worshipping The Creator from everlasting timeless times, by gloriously expressing their adoration proclaiming: Holy, holy, holy! – they become still whenever the Adored One is about to reveal the Word. The reception of This revealed Word requires stillness.

Ez 1:24-28

When the creatures moved, I heard the sound of their wings, like the roar of rushing waters, like the voice of the Almighty, like the tumult of an army. When they stood still, they lowered their wings.

Then there came a voice from above the expanse over their heads as they stood with lowered wings. Above the expanse over their heads was what looked like a throne of sapphire, and high above on the throne was a figure like that of a man. I saw that from what appeared to be his waist up he looked like glowing metal, as if full of fire, and that from there down he looked like fire; and brilliant light surrounded him. Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him.
This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. When I saw it, I fell face down, and I heard the voice of one speaking.

St. Augustine in his sublime comment on Ps., lxxix, 2, “Who sitteth upon the Cherubim”:

Cherubim means the Seat of the Glory of God and is interpreted: Fullness of Knowledge. Though we realize that cherubim are exalted heavenly powers and virtues; yet if thou wilt, thou too shalt be one of the cherubim. For if cherubim means, Seat of God, remember what the Scripture says: The soul of the just is the Seat of Wisdom.

That comment is a striking one, for it implicates that through the ministry of the Holy Spirit within my heart, I can have an access to the same mystery as the Cherubim do: to behold the Most Holy One in the temple of my body, inside the inner parts of my spirit. The stillness is necessary on order to be attentive and to hear.

Stillness invigorates my spirit to receive with gratitude everything what comes from the All-and-better-than-I-Knowing God. It brings consolation.

by d ha rm e sh

I am praying trough these verses lately:

Exodus 14:14

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

I mostly worry, then panic.

1 Samuel 12:16
“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!

I mostly try to do or say something before He does.

Psalm 37:7
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

I mostly do that, although it costs me a lot of internal discussion going between my spirit and the flesh.

Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

I mostly expect that.

Psalm 131:2
But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

I mostly pray for this kind of trust.

Zechariah 2:13
Be still before the LORD, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.”

I mostly probably surely don’t know what I would do if God would do that.

Psalm 4:4
Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah

I mostly meditate in my heart (while doing household stuff) and not upon my bed, but it still leads me to the same result.

God, help me.

Refresh me

He brought me to the banqueting house

and his banner over me was love

Sustain me with raisins

refresh me with apples

for I am sick with love.

I forgot to be lovesick

my alarm clock wakes me up only for the common things

Refresh my broken irregular perception

for the vastness of the gentle breeze

Your Ruah is drawing me in

elevate my thinking above the trivial

swirling of lasting ever will drown me in your love

swiftly overwhelm me

before the alarm clock will scream again

i am weak

you are God

sustain me


(click on the picture to see more)

przestań mnie oswajać * stop taming me

picture by Bizarro

umorzyłeś przekleństwa
you’ve retired my debts

przekopałes ugory
you’ve cut through the fallow

zaciągnąłeś mnie na siłę pod sklepienie przymierza
you’ve dragged me by force under the canopy of covenant

a ja nawet powieką ruszyć nie mogę
and I am not able even to blink

przestań mnie oswajać
stop taming me

nie jestem ze szkła
i am not a piece of glass

poniewierka zaszczutego
wondering of the afflicted one

też nie dla mnie
is also not for me

przymierzę się
i will try on

do przymierza
the covenant

rozchodzę powołanie
i will break through my calling

jak nowe buty na obcasach
like new high heel shoes

przymierzę strój kontemplacji
will try on the frame of contemplation

w końcu będę sobą
finally myself i’ll become

into great silence. part 1

wersja polska ponizej



that’s the title of a movie I watched some time ago. 2h 40 minutes. pure, absolute presence. throughout seasons we can almost breath the presence of those who have chosen this carthusian way. contemplating not only God, but the existence of the creation, deepening understanding of things. it’s hard to imagine that in our time someone would want to do that anymore. but they do it beautifully, with a peaceful, silent determination. profoundly unspoiled by the technically frustrated world.

Nestled deep in the postcard-perfect French Alps, the Grande Chartreuse is considered one of the world’s most ascetic monasteries. In 1984, German filmmaker Philip Gröning wrote to the Carthusian order for permission to make a documentary about them. They said they would get back to him. Sixteen years later, they were ready. Gröning, sans crew or artificial lighting, lived in the monks’ quarters for six months—filming their daily prayers, tasks, rituals and rare outdoor excursions.


first scene: a close up of a monk praying. almost static. unmovable. only for 30 seconds or so, but it seems like it was much longer.

made me think. what is the spirit of the times we live in?

in UK there was a survey done in a young generation which concluded that this generation can’t wait. an avarage person would not even line up in a queue if there are already more than 4 people standing there. many said that it makes them nervous and they were trying to find something to preoccupy them while standing in line. for few, the wait was unbearable. for others it was to much to ask to stand for 10 minutes, doing nothing, but waiting.

what can I wait for? how long can I wait? what is worth waiting?

“But Jesus was silent.” Mt 26:63

The Silence is Meekness.
When you do not defend yourself against offenses;
When you do not claim your rights;
When you let God defend you;
The Silence is Meekness.

The Silence is Mercy.
When you do not reveal the faults of your brothers to others;
When you readily forgive without inquiring into the past;
When you do not judge, but pray in your heart;
The Silence is Mercy.

The Silence is Patience.
When you accept suffering not with grumbling but joyfully;
When you do not look for human consolations;
When you do not become too anxious, but wait in patience for the seed to germinate;
The Silence is Patience.

The Silence is Humility.
When there is no competition;
When you consider the other person to be better than yourself;
When you let your brothers emerge, grow and mature;
When you joyfully abandon all to the Lord;
When your actions may be misinterpreted;
When you leave to others the glory of the enterprise;
The Silence is Humility.

The Silence is Faith.
When you keep quiet because you know that the Lord will act;
When you renounce the voice of the world to remain in the presence of the Lord;
When you do not labor yourself to be understood;
because it is enough for you to know that the Lord understands you;
The Silence is Faith.

The Silence is Adoration.
When you embrace the cross without asking “Why?”;
The Silence is Adoration.
From the Missionaries of Charity prayer book.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

wersja polska


into grat silence to tytul filmu, ktory ogladalam niedawno. 2h 40 min prawdziwej obecnosci. przemijajace sezony pozwalaja nieomal oddychac obecnoscia tych, ktorzy wybrali droge Kartuzow. kontemplujac nie tylko Boga, ale tez stworzenie, poglebiajac zrozumienie. trudno jest sobie wyobrazic, zeby w naszych czasach ktos jeszcze pragnalby zyc w taki wlasnie sposob. lecz oni robia to w sposob zdumiewajacy, z cicha, spokojna determinacja. wybitnie nieskazeni swiatem sfrustrowanym technika.

Ukryty gleboko w malowniczych Alpach francuskich, Grande Chartreuse uznawany jest za jeden z najascetyczniejszych zakonow na swiecie. w 1984 roku, niemiecki filmowiec PhilipGroning poprosil ich o pozwolenie nakrecenia filmu dokumentalnego o ich zyciu. W odpowiedzi uslyszal, ze zglosza sie do niego. 16 lat pozniej byli gotowi. Groning z zespolem mieszkal w celach mnichow przez 6 miesiecy – dokumentujac ich zodzienne modlitwy, zajecia, tradycje i rzadkie wycieczki na zewnatrz.


pierwsza scena z filmu: zblizenie mnicha modlacego sie. postac statyczna. bez poruszenia. obraz ten trwal okolo 30 sekund, lecz wydawal sie o wiele dluzszy.

zapytanie: jaki duch panuje w naszych czasach?

w Wlk Brytanii przeprowadzono sonde wsrod mlodziezy. konkluzja: pokolenie to nie czuje sie dobrze, kiedy ma na cos czekac. przecietny mlody Brytyjczyk nie stanalby w kolejce, w ktorej stoja juz 4 osoby. wielu wyznalo, ze oczekiwanie denerwuje ich, ze musza sobie znalezc jakies zajecie nawet na te pare minut stojac w kolejce. dla paru osob, stanie w kolejce jest po prostu niemozliwe. dla wielu stanie przez 10 minut i nie robienie niczego bylo nie do przyjecia.

jak dlugo moge czekac? na co jestem w stanie poczekac? co jest warte mojego oczekiwania?